OK Brace Yourselves sisters!
I had a dream about two or three months ago. In that dream I was sitting in the living room of the persons who I think have hurt me the most. They supposedly invited for family dinner, I was eating, chatting with other family members. But most importantly, I remember that I was so pressed to showcase my success & accomplishments to them.
When I first had that dream, I immediately rejected it. “Like first of all, why would I be sitting in their living room and in their presence?! Uh uh Nope!“ The same scene kept on coming back to me, over and over again. It has gotten to a point where that scene would randomly pop up in mind during the day while I am in class or at work. “Like what! Nah I got stuff to do!”
My reactions were hilarious tho! You would randomly hear say things like “I rebuke this in the name of Jesus” or “Uh uh Devil, You can’t have my joy today.”
But little did I know that the dream kept on popping up as a means to teach some things. Things I thought I have previously dealt with and got over a long time ago.
The first thing I realized is that I had a hidden desire to prove them wrong; to show them that I was more than they thought I would become. I didn’t want to admit that but I wanted them to see how far I have gotten in my life. But then I came across an Instagram quote that scream to me.
“As long as you’re seeking someone’s validation through your revenge glow-up, that person STILL has power over you.”@theslumflower
That was my big Ah-ha moment as Oprah like to say. I finally admitted that I still had unforgiveness in heart. I thought because I stopped crying about it, that it was over. “Whatever I forgave them! I’m not worried about them. I’m living my life.”This was me, trying to stay in denial. I knew something had to be done.
The work began when I decided to write a letter to the people that hurt me. The forgiveness letter I wrote, was for me. I had no intentions of sending it to them. I wrote like they were going to read it. None of my feelings towards them were overlooked. Trust me on that! I got a lot of things off of my chest. I cried of sadness, then I cried of joy. I had an emotional roller coaster within 1 hour girl ! and thenthe Magic happened, I found FREEDOM!
I felt liberated, free like a bird. It was like a 50-pounds burden was lifted off of my shoulders. I want you to understand that the process of healing is not an easy thing but it you have the faith and use the right method you can fasten the process. I have been trying to forgive them for more than 10 years. I took me my whole teenage years to overcome bitterness. But just because you are not bitter anymore doesn’t mean you forgave. It took one dream, one letter, and my willingness to F O R G I V E.
I got my power my back! I snatched it from their hands, by forgiving them.
Lastly, I change my own perception of what happened to me. Instead of torturing myself with the thought of being robbed of a normal my childhood, I found good things that came out of that experience. I counted the blessings that came that I would have never accessed if I didn’t go through that painful experience. I seperated the experience from the persons who hurt me. and I was able to make peace with that. So I strongly encourage that you give yourself a new perspective of what happened to you. It is all in the mind.
I now believe that it was all in God’s plan for me to through that. He needed me to know pain and get strong for the things he has in store for me. It was for his Glory. And I am OK with that. Bishop TD Jakes once said “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”It is never for other person; it is for You!
Who do you need to forgive? Reflect on it, use the forgiveness letter method to get liberated to heal your hurt.